Perfection...

Mothers (and women in general) feel pressured to be perfect. To keep perfect homes, perfectly behaved children, perfect hair, perfect bodies, and perfect relationships with their “perfect” husbands…

Most of the time we go around keeping up a perfection façade; rarely allowing even those closest to us to see that we struggle with all of the same issues. That perhaps our homes are messy  (disastrous even), or we run out of patience and yell at our children, or that we don’t buy all organic food, or we do or we don’t vaccinate, or we argue with our husbands or we feel disappointments, frustrations, fear, sadness, uncertainty, selfishness, unappreciated, inadequate, inept… That we doubt ourselves and look to those around us for clues on how to be “normal”.

We are all in this together; learning as we go. The most wonderful gift you can give to yourself and others is to acknowledge your flaws, to be open and honest about your struggles. Share your experiences with your girl friends, your acquaintances, allow the women in your life to know that you are not perfect, that you struggle with your own burdens. When we go around presenting a false persona of perfection, it creates a dangerous atmosphere in which we are constantly comparing, competing, and judging ourselves and others. It breeds bitter rivalry, gossip, and all sorts of unkindness toward our fellow mothers and all of womankind. Offering compassion to ourselves and others is the key to being happy and secure in our own skin. Being strong enough to portray vulnerability and honest enough to admit our own imperfections. Asking for help and seeking out opportunities to share even our ugly truths with others will liberate our spirits, build interconnectedness, and strengthen us as mothers/women; making us better wives, mothers, sisters and friends …

When we stop exuding insurmountable amounts of energy into the upkeep of an erroneous pretense of perfection, we can begin to put that energy to good use. Utilizing that energy instead, to strengthen our relationships, cultivate our talents, recognize our strengths, and to give that liberation to others. The next time you see a mom or a woman friend, try to see the beauty behind the façade. The flaws that make her human, that make her just like you. And remember if she hides those flaws or tries to appear flawless that is just her defense mechanism against a society of image conscious, media induced, perfection mongers. Offer her thoughts of peace and strength. Send her consideration and understanding with a smile. Recognize that she is just like you in her own way. Our individualism is what makes us special, and our sameness is what connects us. It is time for honesty, openness, and a new level of bravery to emerge.  We are not each others adversaries or competitors we are each others strength. Give the support and consideration you’d wish to receive and reap the benefits of compassion and truth.

-Love.