Bittersweet Passage of Time...

If I could muster the energy to write something worthwhile tonight, I’d have to tell you all just how awe struck I find myself at random times with the exquisite beauty of life. I am literally moved to tears just driving along, or nonchalantly watching a family interact at the park.
It’s as if for some reason I am acutely aware of the fleeting splendor of life on Earth. A deep, soulful comprehension of impermanence has awakened within my heart.

Tonight I held my children, each in turn. I sang them bedtime songs (even the 12 year old)… I kissed their heads and held their hands, I breathed their sweet essence deep into my being. And I choked up at how quickly time passes. How if you so much as blink, years have passed and left you feeling, for lack of a better word, stunned.  I think back to just two short years ago, to a time when I was still juggling a toddler and a preschooler… I was so in the moment, every second of every day was a hands on exercise in presence, and yet somehow those moments escaped me and have drifted off into the elusive place known as past. Those times were hard, and I struggled, but I also felt so alive! I had a clearly defined purpose! To make it through the day! J

My baby is now a preschooler, my oldest a soon to be middle school student. I am flabbergasted by the sheer force of time and how it trudges on through all of life’s trials and tribulations. “This too shall pass” has helped me through many a long, tear soaked night, but its meaning has taken on a new connotation. There is a bitter sweetness to the concept now. The knowledge that “this too SHALL pass” and that we are forever marching forward with no way to slow or stall the inevitable passing of time is both inspiring and hauntingly pointed.

I am compelled more than ever to BE HERE NOW. To feel completely submerged in my present experience; moved not to waste my time and energy projecting fear or concern into the future; relinquishing remorseful thinking, not wasting my precious resources clinging to the past.  I feel challenged by my comprehension to up the ante so to speak… To re-up my efforts and become ever more attentive… more present… more appreciative… and more aware of myself and my moments as they are happening.

Time is devious. Cherish your moments. Joy is contagious. Offer your joyful exuberance to the universe and reap infinite joy in return! Forgiveness is healing. Forgive yourself and others with a compassionate heart. Grace is redeeming. Be graceful in your thoughts and actions. Gratitude is transformational. Be grateful for all things. Love is limitless. Give and receive love unconditionally. Life is precious. Live fully and with true reverence!

-Love.