Patience. Oh Patience. How I covet thee. A wise person told me recently that the reason we shouldn’t pray for patience is because if we do, we will be given plenty of opportunities to practice just that… How true this seems and how difficult as well.
I am currently in the midst of one of those perfect practice opportunities. I managed to somehow fracture my ankle while WALKING, yes WALKING my dog. Nothing exciting happened, not even a hole in the road. I simply stepped wrong and rolled my ankle, resulting in an apparent fracture. So now, I am on crutches and off of my foot for who knows how long exactly. (Until further notice my Dr.’s note says.) I’d love to say that it gets easier every day, but it doesn’t. I feel myself growing more and more antsy. I don’t do needy. And here I am needing help with every little thing. Help with the housework, help with the children, help with the groceries… UGH!!!
I know I should take my cue from the universe and relinquish control a bit, allowing this time to serve its purpose. The purpose of which is obviously to humble me and help me recognize that I am simply incapable of handling everything all by myself all of the time and that it is alright to ask for help sometimes, in fact it is imperative.
Unfortunately my ego is SCREAMING! “This is NOT how we do things! NO! NO! NO! I DON’T WANT PATIENCE! I want independence! I want self sufficiency! I want! I want! I want!” And I whisper to it calmly, “Too bad.” And I cajole it sweetly, “Shhh... This too shall pass.” And I breathe into my frustration and angst. And I calm my thoughts and try to see the greater picture. Nothing is so terribly wrong here. I am injured. I will heal. I focus my attention on this moment and try to allow it to be what it is, without my own judgments cast upon it. I catch myself speculating about the future, fretting over things that have yet to pass… I bring my attention back again and again to this moment and to the fact that now is now and then is yet to be.
Oh how I practice patience! I may not be an expert in patience, but I shall certainly become an expert in practice! So for now, I am here in this scenario and this is what I will do. Practice, practice, practice. I know from experience that it is precisely with-in these moments where we struggle to accept what is that we are actually doing the most in-depth work of the spirit. I will trust my spirit to guide me to the exact experience I am meant to be having. And, although my conscious mind may not comprehend the extent of this moment’s worth, I have faith that something greater than my mind may be at work here. I offer this to you for your consideration. Perhaps you too are at a place where-in practice appears to be your only option. Perhaps, my situation can help you see the value of your own.