Those who know me well know that I write every chance I get. Whether in the form of a well constructed e-mail, a heartfelt letter, or an intimate poem… Give me a moment alone and my mind will begin to spin and my fingers itch to impart something to someone.
Unfortunately, in this wonderful, chaotic, busy life that I lead, a moment alone is all but extinct. My writing has been sporadic at best, and is usually (regularly) interrupted. Finding a quiet time and place to collect and arrange my thoughts is nearly impossible.
A couple of people have asked me lately, why don’t I take time for myself? Just go somewhere quiet to write, or think or twiddle my thumbs? The answer is Guilt (with a capital G). Guilt over not being with my children to do everything that needs to be done. Guilt over desiring solitude. (And oh how I do desire solitude. It is my most dearly missed companion, and my most self pervading wish.) Guilt over wanting to write privately and share that intimate time with my inner most thoughts and imaginings.
Guilt is an ugly thief whose job it is to rob us of joy. Guilt and his cohort Fear are the antithesis of creation. They hold dreams stagnant and strangle the life out of them. When we allow Guilt and Fear to define our sense of self worth we will believe that we are less than deserving. When we suffer guilty pleasures we are tainting the true splendor of our spirits with senseless angst.
If therefore, I long for solitude and it causes no great harm to others that I should seek out a moment of my own; it stands to reason that for the sake of my spirit (and yours) I ought to find the strength to overcome my guilt.
This blog is a baby step. I was truly terrified by the notion. Afraid to share my ideas and thoughts… Apprehensive to even begin to write for fear that I would not have the time/space to concoct anything of real worth. However, fighting one’s true desires is a bit like trying to mop up the ocean with a dish towel; an exhausting effort that will ultimately prove futile. So it is that I concede to my inner aspiration and I take the chance to share my truth with you.
Those who know me well know this was not an easily undertaken endeavor. I’ve struggled long and hard about this and only hope that my courage will give another the strength to do something they love, and to share the beauty of their true self with others.